She placed her hand on my thigh and gently rubbed it. The waves of adrenaline magnified, and the proverbial butterflies in my belly fluttered frantica...ly. She leaned against me and placed her head on my shoulder. I took the cue and placed my hand on her bare thigh. Her skin felt so smooth and soft. Although it was exhilarating, it felt wrong. I thought I shouldn't be touching another woman's thigh - especially not a married woman.I glanced at the other end of the couch. Luke and Monica sat with. "I just haven't found Miss Right yet, Mom. I'm not too old yet to find someone." I smell bullshit, Rob. There must be a deeper and better answer. You've always been open with me. Why hide something now? Are you gay, Rob? I can take it if this is the answer."Now I was in trouble. I had to explain to her what her two closest friends about 15 years ago had done to me and how it has affected me for life."No, Mom. I'm not gay, yet I think you'd be better off not knowing the real answer to your. I didn't seek it's comfort or cry for you. I had to accept on some level that what I had just done I had liked it. Like wasn't strong enough. I had had my legs around that dog and I was pulling him into me as if he was my lover. That brought a new wave of degrading thoughts into my head. I looked at the door, seeing if you were watching and I was wondering what you were thinking. Would you be getting off knowing that I was being fucked by a dog? That I liked it and that I came when it knotted. ........ I don't know, Tom................if I saw you getting excited about a little girl, which is what I was, blowing a grown man, I might hate you, hate you forever. Do you think that's weird?" But here is the thing. I kept learning about men, learning about sex. He was very nice to me, careful and considerate. He showed me a lot, really took his time, showed me how to do it right, not too fast, which is what I had been doing. Usually, I wasn't too excited myself when I was doing the bj's.
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