What scared me the most were the two pictures someone had taken of me at the club dressed as a bar maid. He said he would knock on my door that night ...round ten. He said he would knock twice and wait and then knock three more times. He said that way I would know it was him. I sat on my bed and didn’t know what to do. I decided that I might as well dress up as a girl. I had wanted to dress up since I had come back from R & R and gotten the clothes. I opened the locker with the girl's clothes. I. I'm getting out of here before those bastards shove more dope into me." I tried to sit up and couldn't. Sharp pains shot through my upper body. "God damn it!" I moaned."Get me a wheel chair, I'm out of here if I have to crawl." But the doctor said..." The nurse tried to assert some sort of authority and couldn't. She rushed from the room while Bucky helped me to sit up on the side of the bed.The whole room swam in and out of focus, my head spun around inside. "What is going on here?" a man's. I spent a third of my life in locker rooms with semi-naked and naked guys. That didn't turn me on. I heard all manner of crude jokes about fags and queers. I'd told a few myself. What did taking a cock up the ass mean?The thing I knew and hated to admit was ... what Mark did felt good. I didn't expect it to or want it to feel good ... but it did. Did this make me gay?I brooded and mulled over these thoughts, barely paying attention to the blathering anchors on the TV. I fell asleep without. Mine’s with my clothes.” Sunday handed me her phone and I headed up to the garage. My keys and shoes were by the door. I took off, not even thinking about the fact that I had no money and no ID.I started driving aimlessly. I ended up over by the SCU campus. I was only over here a couple times a week lately to run with Coach Fredrickson or to use the sports therapy room. I did most of my training at the club. Not that I’d been doing much since Opens. There hadn’t been time. I wasn’t getting.
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