He bathes me, helps me out of the tub and dries me off. He gives me a robe and leads me into the bedroom. We lie down on the bed. He holds me close...and tells me to rest. The pain goes away with the touch of his body close to mine. I’m where I belong. I’m with the Master that was meant for me. I melt with every word that comes from his lips and from his touch. I’m His slave and I belong to him. I feel completed when I am with him.He wakes me with the touch of his lips against the back. A friendly woman’s face moves into a view, a kind smile that reaches her eyes as she looks into the lens, giving a brief wave in greeting. As she backs away from the camera, you’re able to see much more of figure, making your eyes go wide in shock and your jaw go slack. She’s gained weight since her last show.As she settled down onto the armchair nearby, you can see she’s wearing a cozy button-up that was apparently far too small for her plump breasts and big belly, the very buttons already. My voice lowered to a whisper. ‘I love him, you know, I’m sure of that now.’ The intense realization came upon me quickly. I of course had known I loved him, but actually admitting it to myself was something different. I continued talking, slowly growing deeper in sorrow. ‘I don’t know how to be me anymore. I can’t be Kira, the old Kira, the way I used to be. That’s love isn’t it? When someone changes you, and you realize you can’t go back? …And when you lose them and you realize you can’t go. As I entered the bathroom and got closer I counted half a dozen partially digested pills of assorted sizes, shapes and colors."You tried to kill yourself over that little prick. What were you thinking! He never deserved you, fuck him and his little slut. You can do better."Susan started crying even harder at my outburst. She seemed to be sorry for what she had almost done there was a sense of shame to her. It slowly dawned on her what she looked like, drunk, high on pills, covered in vomit,.
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As you flicker through the nightIn the margins of my sightAs I glimpse you from a farOn the street or in a barStrutting through the milling crowdHead
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