She didn’t live with me, perhaps correctly assuming it would toughen her obsessive search for fame. I saw her most nights, though, and got to observ..., like a stop motion video, her descent into despair. She visited agents and casting agencies, but got little work – I could give her false beauty, but not talent. She inveigled her way to the right parties and, I’m certain, screwed the right men – though never women, she was puritanically straight – but all for nothing. I suggested she set up her. "I'm just so drunk," Allen said."You seem fine." No. No. I'm not," Allen said, clearing tears away from his eyes asLila and Enid came over to him."Elizabeth, what's going on?" Nothing. I've just got to go home." What did you do?" Lila bellowed at George who held up his hands andsaid, "I didn't say anything." We're smiling at each other and then she just started crying," Georgeadded. "He didn't do anything wrong," Allen added shaking his head."What's wrong then?" Enid asked."Me," Allen said. Tammy soon opened up about problems her and Dave were having . Tammy was complaining about Dave not wanting k**s with her .We knew Dave had been crushed when he found out his ex partner had cheated on him and had a baby telling Dave it was his, he only found out in an argument with her a year later. Explaining this to Tammy I said "just give him time , he will have k**s with you one day, just when he is ready" She seemed to accept this and asked me about k**s, did I want any ect. Dave came back. Dresses and skirts are saved forspecial occasions - just like most women my age. Yes, there are times whenI want to be more feminine, but I'm a practical woman , and so end up incomfortable, durable clothes. And as for underwear, that's even morepractical, as the only person who will ever see them is me.It's not about attracting attention.My happiest moments during this transition have been when I've gone outand had no special attention paid to me. I was seen as just another womangoing about.
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