Sometimes I felt ashamed of myself. Other times I felt elated that it was really going to happen but at no time did I even think of trying to stop it....I have no explanation of why my need was so important. Perhaps I was born with it; perhaps my feeling of inadequacy gradually became overwhelming but the result was the same.The evening before when we were in bed, I did express the fear that Kate might not love me as much afterwards. She told me she understood that fear but that this date was to. Roy finally spoke. In a gruff voice he asked, "What's your name, girl?"I cleared my throat and answered nervously, "Lori, sir."He nodded and asked, "How old are you?" I'm sixteen."He was apparently confirming the things that Jeff had told him about me. He asked, "And Jeff is your brother?"I nodded.He asked, "Why are you here?"I wasn't sure what he was asking. I knew why I was here. I was here to be raped. But then it occurred to me what he really meant. I answered, "I am here because my brother. I think she shot a quick look at my crotch too.I saw her skirt whipping and knew the fresh air vent must be open. I decided to have some fun and see how she takes it.“That vent may have too much air coming in, the school teacher’s skirt blew up over her waist when she drove mine earlier.”“I love the wind on my legs, can I leave it wide open?”“Sure, but if it blows your skirt up just close it a little.”“I like it a lot, the way it is - wide open. I just hope it doesn’t blow my bra off,” she. " I grabbed the brushes and palette and returned to the canvas, stepping in front of Rita. I fell back into my painting trance, completely absorbed by my subject. I didn't know if Rita was still in the room or had left.It was two hours later that I stepped back from the easel and returned the brushes to the mineral spirits for cleaning. I was exhausted. And starving. It had been 41 hours since I got up and I'd been sketching and painting with no more than a bathroom break for 26. Gradually the.
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