I'm just doing it because I want to," I said, simply. It was pretty much the truth, I realized - although it seemed I was losing track of all the reas...ns."You mean ... all those humiliating things I ask you to do. Sucking me off in the car, in the hospital yesterday ... the schoolgirl uniform ... spraying cum all over your face ... you get off on all that?" I..." how to answer? I tried to curl up a bit tighter. I was supremely embarrassed. This was the first time that John and I had ever talked. If I had a gun, or some other type of weapon I would just end it all right there. After a few minutes, I again started driving, where, I didn't care, and I just drove.My head was pounding, and I pulled into a parking lot of an all night grocery store and went inside to get some painkillers. I figured I would kill two birds with one stone, relieve the pain in my head, and consume the entire bottle to relieve the pain in my soul.I walked down an aisle that had cleaners and such, and spotted drain. This was going to be like looking at my potential future had I taken the other fork in the road.That is terrifying. What would I think of her now? What would she think of me now? Would I long for the alternate choice? Would I long for what could have been? Become depressed as to the first major two choices I made in my life? Was I going to say to myself, this is what should have been?The door opened. My heart skipped several beats. And then I was shocked.If I squinted, I could see the girl. I. ’ ‘Thanks,’ I smiled. I followed Tim around as he chatted to various people, then he said, ‘Shall we go?’ ‘OK,’ I said. We shook hands with the pastor again, and walked down the path from the church. ‘What would you like to do for lunch?’ I asked. Tim thought for a moment. ‘You can eat if you want to, right?’ I nodded. ‘Actually I enjoy it – the flavours are all new to me.’ ‘Well, let’s go for something Indian – I know you don’t like things too spicy, but I know I can find dishes you’ll like.’.
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