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I told her that I wished I didn't have to use a condom. She said, "I get checked quite often and most of the men I see, unless I'm pretty sure, I mak... them use a condom. But I've heard that you are married and haven't had sex in a very long time. So it's up to you if you want to use one...but I would prefer that we didn't!" "Really?", I said. "I would love to take it off...to REALLY be inside you"! Almost without missing a beat, she rose up as she was sliding my condom off. Back down she went. " She finally glanced at me, a look full of pain and humiliation. "Tomorrow is the day. I would never have gone; God, I couldn't have. I could never do that to you or to myself. Terry, you have to believe me. I was going to talk to you tonight, to ask you for help. Then you told me, 'I know what you did.' "That killed me. I didn't even think how you found out. The thought came to me that you thought I was going to cheat on you and ... and, I just died."She looked at me again, and then looked. I'd only been teasing on Andy's tenth when I told him I already knew the answer to the test.But having knowledge and knowing how to use it are two different things, Daddy always says.The birthday party was fun, even with the distraction of the cube. Maia and Jeni sang me a special birthday song that they wrote me. We played our usual game of football on the lawn, but I think this may be the last birthday we play it. Andy and Jeni always seemed to wind up tackling each other, no matter what play. You know he loves you. There’s no reason to be this nervous. Nothing much different will happen tonight, and, if you’re really too nervous, nothing at all new needs to happen tonight. Just be yourself, the wonderful, strong, caring girl who’s had my heart for years. The girl who didn’t blanch at leading us to a win over the state’s 800-pound gorilla. The girl who has stood up to bullies and assholes as long as I can remember.“Take it one step at a time. Dinner. Chatting. Walking. Chatting..
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